Confidence Hacks Read online

  78. Practice affirmations.

  Affirmations are basically a form of auto-suggestion, and when practiced deliberately and repeatedly, they push the subconscious mind to take action to make the positive statement real. Repeated positive statements help you focus your mind on your aim, as if it is already real. They create corresponding mental images, which affect the subconscious mind accordingly. Affirmations also reinforce chemical pathways in the brain, strengthening neural connections so that our thoughts change the structure and function of our brains to support our intentions.

  Action Steps: To practice affirmations, choose one or two to focus on for several weeks. Say the affirmation out loud in a confident voice several times a day and before you go to bed. To add more power to the affirmation, write it down as you speak it. Be sure your affirmations are in the present tense, as though they are a current reality. Here is a list of 101 positive affirmations you can use, or you can create your own affirmations related to your specific goals.

  79. Visualize success.

  Visualization is the use of mental imagery to create visions of what we want and the process of making it happen. It is often used by athletes to improve their skills by picturing their optimal performance and ultimate achievement. A variety of studies have offered sufficient reliable evidence that mental imagery can improve motor performance.

  With visualization, you create neural patterns in your brain, just as if you had physically performed the action. The thought can stimulate the nervous system in the same way as the physical action does. Visualization fosters better performance and outcomes in all areas of life that require preparedness and forethought.

  Action Steps:Determine an upcoming situation or area of performance in which you want to succeed. Set aside time in the morning and evening for a five-minute visualization, as well as in the hours just before the event. Visualize all the images, sounds and feelings in your mind surrounding an activity. Mentally go through each step as if you were performing perfectly, culminating in a successful outcome. Try to feel the feelings of energy, confidence, stamina, or whatever feelings you would produce in a successful endeavor.

  80. Focus on compassion.

  Cultivating empathy through compassion meditation affects brain regions that make us more sympathetic to other peoples' mental states, according to researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Brain scans reveal that brain circuits used to detect emotions were dramatically altered in subjects who practiced compassion meditation extensively. Compassion meditation is useful for preventing depression in people who are susceptible to it, and it also reduces stress and improves feelings of happiness, contentment, and self-compassion.

  Action Steps: Sit in a comfortable posture in a quiet, peaceful place to meditate. Take several slow, deep, diaphragmatic breaths. Become aware of your mind and body, relaxing any muscle or mental tension that arises. Turn your attention to people you have seen or know who have experienced misfortune. Using your own words, wish them freedom from sorrow or stress and swift recovery to a happier, healthier present and future. Continue offering compassion to any people you may be aware of who are suffering.

  Fun and Adventure

  "When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun.

  And when you have fun, you can do amazing things."

  ~ Joe Namath

  As adults, our lives are complicated and filled with obligations, worries, and responsibilities. We're involved in the serious business of grown-up stuff. We work hard. We support our families. We worry about our money and higher prices. We fret about the condition of the world, politics, our children. We have endless chores and tasks without much time for fun.

  A prolonged period of stress can put your physical and mental health at risk. —but stress is part of everyday life. Sometimes we even wake up stressed, just anticipating the day ahead of us. A long commute to work in traffic; dealing with a difficult boss; having deadlines to meet; and coping with the responsibilities of family and home life all impact our well-being and erode our joy and confidence.

  Having confidence does help you manage stress and enjoy life, but you can create the conditions for confidence by first managing stress and creating opportunities for fun and adventure. Studies prove fun and laughter can reduce stress by releasing the feel-good endorphins in your brain.

  Incorporating adventure into your fun has further benefits for your confidence, health, and well-being. Adventure travel or outdoor adventure activities force you out of your comfort zone and increase your tolerance for uncertainty. These pursuits also open your mind to new sites, activities, and people. Adventure can stretch you physically, but it can also be a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you're capable of. Every time you challenge yourself through an adventure, you gain the confidence to do something even more bold, and that confidence spills over into all areas of your life.

  81. Cut back on your to-do list.

  It's difficult to add fun and adventure to your life when it's crammed full of activities and obligations. Often we have the mindset we must be busy with something "productive" every minute of the day. The more we have on our plates, the more obligated we feel to keep the plates spinning. However, much of the busyness in our lives is unnecessary. It has nothing to do with our values or our vision for who we want to be and how we want to live. Chronic busyness drains our energy and joy and can even lead to illness and anxiety.

  Action Steps: Write a detailed list of all of your daily, weekly, and monthly activities and obligations. How many of the items on the list could you drop without any fallout? Are there any items you feel pressured to keep even though you don't want to? Start cutting back to make room for fun and adventure. This week, pick one activity or task to drop.

  82. Simplify your space.

  Material things can drain our energy. As we accumulate more and more, we have to spend more time caring for and maintaining these things. Physical clutter creates mental clutter and disharmony, and it brings on fatigue and agitation. As you start to release material things from your life, you have a sense of freedom and peace. It reenergizes you and allows you to reclaim time you could be spending on more productive, interesting, and fun activities.

  Action Steps: Pick one room at a time and begin the process of simplifying and decluttering. If you never use something or it serves no useful purpose, then sell it or give it away. If you have clothes you haven't worn in a year, let these go so someone who needs them can take advantage of them. Think about the number of rooms in your home you actually use. How can you simplify the less used rooms to minimize cleaning and upkeep? Do you have cars, boats, or other toys that sit in the garage? Why not sell them and use the money for an adventure?

  83. Plan ahead for weekends.

  After a long week, we tend to arrive at Friday afternoon with no plans for the weekend. We're tired and mentally drained, so we let Saturday morning roll in with some vague idea of what we might do for fun. But we end up with our fallback activities of cleaning the house, running a few errands, and than watching a little football at the end of the day. Before we know it, the weekend's over, and we feel like our lives are boring and uneventful. You can't have a life of fun and adventure unless you take the time to plan for it.

  Action Steps:Sunday afternoons or evenings are great times to plan for the following weekend. Think about the people you want to spend time with and what brings you joy. Plan activities that are not your usual choices. Do something interesting or challenging. Take a day trip, learn a new sport, or try zip lining. Don't allow weekends to creep up on you without a plan for fun.

  84. Do something playful.

  When you were a child, play was a natural part of your life. In fact, play was your method for learning, exploring the world, and developing creativity. According the American Academy of Pediatrics, play "contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth." But what happens to play as we get older? Why do we lose our delight
in play and a sense of playfulness in our grown-up world? Play is often perceived as unproductive and frivolous—unless it's competitive play. But play is just as important for adults as it is for children. Play is essential for problem-solving, creativity, and relationships. It helps couples form intimacy, and can foster deeper connections with friends and even strangers.

  Action Steps: The type of play I'm suggesting isn't competitive or highly structured. It's purposeless, often spontaneous, pleasurable, and fun. Think about how you enjoyed play as a child. Many of the same types of play you gravitated to when you were young might intrigue you as an adult. You might still enjoy drawing, building block towers, or having tickle fights. You might love exploring outside, telling silly jokes, or building a fort. Give yourself permission to enjoy play, and start adding playfulness to your days. Read this article for more ideas on having fun and being playful.

  85. Ride a bike.

  Riding a bike can be a form of play if you don't approach it competitively. Hopping back on a bike as an adult makes you feel like a kid when you had complete freedom to zip along at lightning speed with no particular agenda. It's fun and wildly liberating. Cycling also can be a low-impact, aerobic workout that provides a myriad of health benefits and can be continued for life without a major time commitment. A bike is a versatile machine designed to minimize stress and maximize exercise efficiency. It involves less pounding than other forms of exercise like running. It is gentler on joints and can actually strengthen them, as the cycling motion provides nourishment that builds up cartilage.

  Action Steps: If it's been a while since you've been on a bike, go to your local bike store for a test ride, or ask to borrow a friend's bike for a quick ride to get comfortable again. Once you have the hang of it, borrow or rent a bike for the day. Find a bike path or trail in your area, pack a lunch and a good book, and enjoy a peaceful ride. You may enjoy it so much you want your own bike. Here's my story of riding a bike again as an adult.

  86. Plan adventure travel

  Adventure travel forces you to be a beginner again. No matter how educated, competent, or confident you might be at home, traveling in a foreign country or in an adventurous situation reduces you to someone who is dependent on his or her wits and the kindness of strangers. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more you accept the challenge of adventure and embrace the unfamiliar, the more your confidence will grow—not just in your ability to navigate a new place, but also in yourself and your capacity to grow as a person. Travel is a perfect laboratory for building confidence by challenging yourself to try new things, push your limits, and intentionally engage with strangers.

  Action Steps: When you're lacking confidence, planning an adventurous trip is probably not on the top of your to-do list. This is exactly why you need to plan a trip like this. Consider taking a trip where you engage in a physical adventure, like rock climbing or white water rafting. If that feels like too much, plan a walking trip in a foreign country or check out one of the easier adventure trips or weekend getaways offered by REI Adventure.

  87. Join a group.

  If adventure travel isn't realistic right now, you can still find ways to enjoy adventure in your own back yard. If you are shy or uncomfortable in groups, joining a social group centered around specific activities is a great way to ease yourself in to a group dynamic through shared interests. Through your local Meet-Ups, social media, or online forums, you'll find a variety of group events for everything from hiking to book clubs. When you join a group, you not only boost your social skills, but also you create opportunities for new friendships, business referrals, and enhanced learning.

  Action Steps: Think about some of your favorite interests or activities—or even skills or pursuits you'd like to try for the first time. Do some online research on groups in your area by looking on Facebook, MeetUp, LinkedIn, or simply Google your specific interest and add the words "Atlanta groups or clubs," using the name of your city. Challenge yourself to attend a few meetings to see how you like the group. Just by taking the initiative to go to a group meeting, you're boosting your confidence.

  88. Break out of daily routines.

  Your daily routines and habits feel very comfortable, and they probably make your life easier and more productive. However, even if your routines are working, there are benefits to shaking things up. Sticking to the same methods month after month puts your brain on autopilot and can make life feel boring and tedious. Any time you force your brain to learn something new, you encourage your brain to create new neural connections. Change forces you to pay more attention to what you're doing and have more present moment awareness. Even small changes like taking a different route to work or switching up the order you do things in the morning can boost your brain power and confidence, and make life more interesting.

  Action Steps:How can you shake up your daily routines? What can you do differently to challenge yourself to learn a new method, try a different route, or approach something from an unexpected angle? Pick one area where you can break your routine and apply it this week.

  89. Find passionate people.

  The quality of our lives and even our confidence is impacted by the people we surround ourselves with. If you are surrounded by people with limited thinking, who are entrenched in the status quo and resistant to change, they will surely limit you. If you have people in your life who diminish you or try to hold you back from success and happiness, you will feel diminished and unhappy. If you want to feel happy, successful, and confident, surround yourself with happy, successful, and confident people. Find people who are enthusiastic and passionate about their lives and work, who are doing interesting things and living adventurous lives. Their excitement and enthusiasm will rub off on you.

  Action Steps: Think about people you know or work with who are passionate and enthusiastic. How can you interact with these people and make a real connection with one or more them? Consider hosting a dinner event with interesting people who are involved in various activities and projects that seem adventurous and unique. Begin a search for your passion or a strong interest and join a group where like-minded people hang out. Make a point of finding one new person who can expand you and challenge you to be more passionate yourself.

  90. Do the "big thing."

  Most people have a bucket list of things they want to do or accomplish before they die. Often there's one "big thing" at the top of the bucket list that keeps calling to us, urging us to go for it, to seize the golden ring. Sadly, most people never accomplish their "big thing" or even cross off many items on their bucket lists. Life and responsibilities get in the way, and we keep pushing off our dream goal, thinking we have endless time to pursue it. One of the top five regrets of dying people is that they left their dreams unfulfilled. By prioritizing your "big thing," you take control of your destiny and honor your dreams, filling you with confidence to pursue anything you desire in the future.

  Action Steps: What is your "big thing"? What is one thing you want to do before you die? Grab a pen and paper and calculate the following. Assuming you live to age ninety, how many years do you have left. Subtract your current age from ninety. Now multiply that number by 365, and that's the number of days you have left to live. You don't have an endless supply of days, so isn't today the best day to make sure your "one big thing" happens? What can you do right now to plan your big thing?

  Finances

  "Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish,

  but it will not replace you as the driver."

  ~ Ayn Rand

  Low self-confidence is one of the main impediments to financial success. It makes us doubt our abilities and judgment and prevents us from actualizing our potential. One reason confidence is so important is its impact on ambition and motivation. People with a positive attitude who believe in themselves have more ambitious goals, and they regularly act on those goals, leading to more opportunities and higher incomes.

  Whether someone is highly-educated and workin
g in a prestigious profession or as a blue-collar employee, confidence has been proven to be a determining factor for making a better income.

  However, simply taking control of your financial habits can boost your confidence and improve your financial position. According to a survey by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc., Americans who have a financial plan of any sort feel more confident and are more optimistic about their futures, and they are more likely to save money and have fewer financial difficulties.

  Whether or not you are earning a great income or enjoying the career success you aspire to, practicing smart financial habits will give you clarity, put your money to work for you, and place you in the driver's seat of your financial future. As you master your financial goals and habits, you'll feel more confident in all areas of your life.

  Confidence will improve your financial situation—and good financial knowledge and planning with improve your confidence.

  91. Get organized.

  Nothing makes you feel more out-of-control than disorganization. If your financial system involves bills and important documents scattered around the house or stuffed in drawers, it's hard to feel confident about yourself and your skills at money management. Having an organized financial system can save you time and reduce the stress of not being able to put your hands on something when you need it. To get organized, you need to create a workable system to track your financial information—everything from spending to retirement plans. A system will help you pay bills on time, track your expenses, and easily see how your investments are performing.